Follow Through

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don’t you agree?
I, haven’t felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet

So, since you wanna be with me
You’ll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I’ll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I‘m holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it
You’re so hypnotic on my heart

So, since you wanna be with me
You’ll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I’ll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

The words you say to me are unlike anything
That’s ever been said
oh what you do to me is unlike anything
That’s ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You’re so hypnotic on my heart

So since you wanna be with me
You’ll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I’ll see you everyday

So since you wanna be with me
You’ll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I’ll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You’re gonna have to follow

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don’t you agree?

~Gavin Degraw

My family relationships class has been focusing on family crises and coping methods this week. We do fun projects like interviews where you have to list all the family crises your family had. Which is especially fun in a class full of girls who would probably consider breaking one of there freshly painted ORI Indian royal nails a crisis.

My journals make this project especially fun because I can easily trace my coping methods. One of the more foolish was my dating streak. I didn’t put a lot into those relationships. They didn’t last long because longer relationships start to bleed into other less tidy areas of your life. I wanted to be wanted. Being wanted denoted some kind of value and after I broke up with them, seeing how long they stayed infatuated was another even more potent ego boost. The only hitch in things was when I actually liked the other person. This made things very disorganized and I came to college with one guy back home begging me to give things one more chance, another guy that I was really into (which only terrified me, because I would have wanted him around longer and I didn’t handle people backing out on me because of other areas of my life very well), another guy thinking that I was waiting two years for him to come to school with me, and a last one who I didn’t really care for much but who broke me of this nasty habit in the end.

The last guy taught me that being wanted doesn’t mean the same thing as being valued. And value doesn’t necessarily mean love. He did his job so well that for months after words if a guy so much as held my hand I had to throw up.

And then there is Jack who is quietly stubborn. He’s not perfect but he learns from his mistakes and for someone  who is so non-confrontational he is very persistant whenever I start to get stir-crazy. He’s not posessive or jealous. He’s aggrivatingly patient and he doesn’t scare easy and I know, I’ve tried. He refuses to be a crutch or a savior for me. He’s different. Very different from anyone I’ve ever dated and I cans ee why that might make some sceptical, but for once I think different is very good. And I’m very blessed.

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