In Under 24 Hours

I was visited recently. It wasn’t long. Less than 24 hours. We didn’t do much. He knew I was having a hard time and had come to be with me for a little while. We didn’t talk about anything too deep. I didn’t cry. We ate. We chatted. We played cards. And it is probably [...]

What I Learned

1.) There are infinite possibilities and just because one works, doesn’t mean its the best, or even good.
2.) People need purpose.
3.) Feeding on other people’s purposes won’t satisfy.
4.)
5.)
6.)
7.)
8.)
9.)
10.)
Really that’s all I have right now. I just wanted to know that I learned something from it.

Taking Back My Life

So I’m home. I like school. My new job is growing on me. But mostly I’m happy for the first time in a while. I like my new family and I’m starting to like myself again. Pain is a funny thing.  My last month at Harding I started to recognize me as I was during [...]

Mockery

I keep finding pieces of him everywhere. And they turn my stomach. You want a good example? Check our my blog post from February 15. In it is an email from James that I got after Thailand when I told him I didn’t trust him. All these notes, emails, letters, all a mockery.
This is how [...]

One Art

One Art
 

by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where [...]

The Mall

Last night I dreamt I was ina mall window shopping. I was staring in one window when three guys near me started yelling. I could see a fight was beginning and getting a bit scared I ducked into the first doorway down the hall I could find hoping that it was an exit. It opened [...]

Aftershock

Worst dream ever: dreaming about him actually being nice and then waking up and realizing it isn’t true.

Stage Three

My counselor has been talking to me about the stages of grief. I hit the next one today.
RAGE
This probably had alot to do with him pestering my future room-mate to go on a road trip alone with him this summer. He even offered to pay for the gas and hotel room. He pestered her until [...]